He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
by angel422
Summary: Six months have passed since Tommy left. Jude’s involved with someone else. But what happens when Tommy comes back. Can Jude really work with him again?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Here again, I wanted a story that focused more on Jude—a story where Tommy would have to fight for her once he realized she wasn't the fifteen year old girl who would crush on him for the rest of her life. That said, here's a story about a stronger Jude—a successful Jude that takes place only six months after the season finale. Will Tommy be able to win her back when he returns from Montana and finds her with someone else? After leaving her so cruelly, can he really blame her? Please R&R. Smiles.

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His name was Chris. He was a twenty-year-old radio VJ and songwriter from California who had been asked to do a personal interview with Canada's new number one artist. He was the stuff dreams were made out of—tall, bronze, and hair that had been naturally bleached from the sun by days of hanging ten in the California surf—even a small stud earring in his ear. He was also my new boyfriend and had been for two months now. He had shown up in Toronto a month or so after Tommy had disappeared, and he had given me so much to look forward to again—had interviewed me and in the process learned ways to pull me out of the protective shell I had hidden away in to protect my wounded heart. He persisted by asking me for my phone number and I persisted by telling him no only to have him send me a dozen long stemmed red roses with a card proclaiming that he would die a gruesome death of futility if I didn't go out on a date with him. I finally relented laughingly and since then have been dating him on and off for five months as he traveled back and forth from California—collaborating on songs for my fourth album. Six months had passed since Tommy left. He had phoned to explain what had happened to Darius—giving a play by play of a family dilemma that had to be resolved before his return. I thought that we were over—not that anything had ever begun between us anyway—even if my heart ruled that that was not so. I thought that I was over him. And then he came back.

"You look lost in thought. Mind if I join you on whatever planet you've traveled to lately?" Chris asked me suddenly from the doorway of studio 1. I looked up quickly—not expecting to see him there leaning casually against the doorframe, his muscled arms straining against the fabric of a black T-shirt. His earring flashed as he moved and I almost sighed. Chris Durmont—my life for five months. There weren't words for me to describe the thoughts in my head to him right now. I had just discovered Tommy was coming home, and I hadn't quite processed how I felt about that. Smiling over at Chris, I sat down my guitar and moved into his comforting embrace—allowing the heat from his skin to seep into my suddenly cold bones. He was tall, and I had to look up into his eyes before grinning at him sheepishly.

"I didn't know you were flying in this weekend." I stated evenly before brushing away a piece of fuzz off the shoulder of his shirt. His hand rubbed my back soothingly as he quirked a brow at me in amusement.

"I generally like catching you off guard although I've been trying to fly in more often. I have a week off this time. I couldn't think of a better way I'd rather spend it." Chris remarked stoically as I smiled before rubbing a hand up along his cheek.

"I'm glad you came." I finally whispered as he leaned down to kiss me gently along the lips. I pressed against him—shoving my worries to the back of my head as he finally pulled away from me. I looked over at the door suddenly to see his suitcase leaned against it.

"You'll stay at the apartment, of course." I stated matter-of-factly as Chris chuckled.

"Never let it be said I don't like my women without sass and commanding attitude." He replied on a laugh as I just winked up at him. Chris was special. He had helped heal me. And he wasn't like my previous relationships. It wasn't just because I was in my own apartment now—living just down the hall from Sadie. No, he was older, an established professional, and he made me feel older too—as if age were nothing but a number. Thoughts of Tom bombarded me again, and I shoved at them persistently. Darius had informed me that we would be working together again—that he was coming back as my producer. I wasn't sure how I felt about that yet. I wasn't sure I had much choice. Chris's hands played softly with my hair as I looked up at him again sheepishly. I needed to let him be what he was—my anchor. I needed an anchor right now. A noise behind us made me look over Chris's shoulder. Speaking of the living devil himself.

"I wasn't sure you'd be in the studio, Jude, but Darius wanted to make sure I found you to set up a schedule for your newest album." Tommy said suddenly from the same doorway that Chris had just entered through—standing in the same carefree position. The similarities almost made me shiver. Chris stepped away from me slowly before turning to face the door with a small smile. It was enough to make your heart melt. Both men were heart wrenchingly beautiful. Strange how Tommy glanced at me now. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing I was. There were two men in my life now—not just boys—men, and I happened to be involved with one of them. I smiled tightly at Tom.

"Darius told me you were coming. I was waiting before going back to my apartment. I'm glad you're back, Tom." I stated evenly—leaving my face void of all emotion, my voice even and somewhat indifferent. I couldn't let either of them see how much his presence affected me. I loved Chris. Right? I shook my head as I realized the two men were peering expectantly at each other.

"Oh, right. Tom, this is my boyfriend and current co-songwriter on part of my album, Chris Durmont. He is also a radio VJ in Southern California. Chris, this is my producer, Tom Quincy." I introduced smoothly—trying to keep myself from blushing as Tom's eyes narrowed—probably wondering what kind of relationship Chris and I had. I couldn't deal with that right now so I pulled myself out of the embrace Chris still sort of had me in before walking over to my guitar case and grabbing a set of keys.

"I forgot to give you this the last time you were here." I told Chris as I edged back over to him—trying to do this without choking. Chris and I had already talked about this move—had really discussed what it meant to move to this next level in our relationship. I was not going to let Tommy being here destroy that. Handing Chris a spare key to my apartment, I watched him smile down at me fondly. We had both been wary about him staying with me whenever he was in Toronto, but I had finally convinced myself I was over Tom enough to let him in. Then Tom had come back.

"There's plenty in the fridge, and you can just put your stuff in my room. I'll be there in a couple of hours. Although if I know you, you'll use that to check out the local VJ competition anyway." I said on a grin as Chris winked at me before taking the key. Leaning over, he kissed me gently on the forehead before walking over to the door where Tom moved to let him pass.

"I'll see you in a few then, Sassy." Chris stated with a small smile as I laughed at the now familiar nickname. The door closed behind him, and I found myself suddenly alone with my present nemesis.

"Well…." Tommy said softly.


	2. Chapter 2

"Don't say anything, Tom." I stated evenly as I went back over to my stool to grab the guitar I had left next to it earlier. Tom just threw his hands up into the air slowly as if silently stating that he hadn't intended to. I rolled my eyes. I knew him better than that. He grew quiet behind me—pacing the room silently as he neared the stool where I sat once more. His nearness was making me nervous and still he moved closer as if he liked invading my personal space.

"So, where did you meet the Beach Boy at?" Tommy asked as I threw him a scathing glance. I knew it! I knew he'd say something. He just raised a brow innocently before strumming one of the strings on my guitar from over my shoulder. I shivered before pushing him away.

"You just can't leave it alone, can you Tom?" I asked him simply as he backed away from me slowly before eyeing me curiously.

"It's just a question, Jude. You're the one that seems to have trouble answering." Tommy stated pointedly as I growled under my breath. God, the man was so infuriating! I jumped off the stool before backing him up against the wall with my guitar.

"Actually, he met me here at the studio doing a job for his radio station if you must know." I replied with a wry quirk of my brow as Tommy just peered at me from beneath lowered lashes before leaning back casually against the wall behind him.

"You seem awful friendly for someone involved in a committed relationship." Tommy stated with a half-smile as he tapped me gently on the nose. It was then that I realized how close I was standing to him. Ugghhhhh! No, he was not doing this to me! I backed away perceptibly until my back rested against the opposite side of the room away from him.

"Come off it, Tom! We have a schedule to go over and then I'm going home to Chris." I remarked as he winced at the statement—seemingly disturbed by that idea all together. Tom shrugged.

"Actually, I thought we could work here in the studio some tonight if it doesn't encroach on your personal time." Tommy stated suddenly as I just turned to gape at him. There was no way I was doing that. I knew what he was trying to do, and I was not falling for it. I shook my head vehemently.

"I will not work tonight, Tom, so figure in something else into your schedule." I stated on a sarcastic laugh as Tommy approached me stealthily. What was he doing? What gave him the right to come back here and act like this?

"Planning on doing indiscreet things tonight, Jude?" He asked me in a low tone as I just looked over at him as if he were a member of the living dead. What had he just asked me? Uh uh, no way! I don't think so.

"You have no right to ask me that, Tom! No right whatsoever! What I do with Chris is my business. Not yours. If you want to know in depth information about my personal life, then you need a license and a right to call yourself my OBGYN." I stated fervently as he coughed to cover up the sudden laugh that bubbled up in his throat. What? He had made me angry now. If that had been his intentions, then he was once again getting what he wanted.

"You want to be treated like a woman, Jude? You want to go sharing yourself with someone you've only know four months, then fine with me. But, if you're planning on doing that, then why not get it on with a real man?" He asked as I just scoffed. He really wanted to fight didn't he? Oh hell, I'd give him a fight! I marched over to him pointedly before digging my finger right into the center of his chest.

"Because a real man doesn't walk off on a date, Quincy. A real man owns up to it, and let's just say that Chris has learned more about me in four months than you did in two years so do me a favor will you, Tom. Go scratch that itch you have up your ass up someone else's tree." I retorted as Tommy just stared at me a moment in surprise before smiling at my fervor.

"I guess I've got my work cut out for me then." Tommy stated vaguely, leaving me to wonder with both trepidation and anticipation exactly what he meant.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Heee Hee, I loved all of your reviews for this one. And I have to tell you guys, I'm ecstatic about some mano y mano testosterone action myself. It's time someone fought over Jude instead of girls fighting over Tommy. Here's the next installment. I love you guys! Please keep reading and let me know what you think. Smiles.**

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I entered my apartment later that night feeling drained and more than just a little upset to find Chris lounging on the couch flipping through my television without much interest in what was on. He threw the remote onto the chair opposite him as I walked over to the sofa before holding out his arms, and I crawled over the cushions to rest against his chest as he stroked my hair.

"Long day?" He asked as I just nodded against his shirt. He sighed. I just laid there breathing in the scent of his cologne as I tried to forget the scent of another smell known as Tom Quincy—that confounded brand of Eternity he sometimes wore that drove me nuts. And I hated myself just then for even thinking of him. _Stop it, Jude_. Grabbing Chris by the chin, I melded my lips to his—trying to drown memories in passion. He kissed me back thoroughly before flipping me over onto the couch so that he was leaning over me. I sighed as he ran his palm up under my shirt—grazing the skin there with his fingertips. The feeling was almost heady, and I arched into his touch as he kissed me harder—more demandingly. I fell into the kiss—letting it take me away as Chris lifted me up to carry me to the bedroom before setting me down gently onto the bed. He pulled his shirt over his head as we rolled together when he fell over me again, and I pushed at his muscles as he moved to nibble on my earlobe. I felt his hand hover near the clasp of my pants and I hesitated. Simple as that, I hesitated. He looked down at me—gazing into my eyes as if he noticed my reluctance and I shook my head at him. He just smiled before moving to lie beside me.

"I thought it might be too early. We've only been together four months, Jude. I'm not pushing you." He stated on a whisper as I folded myself into his embrace—letting his hand run down my back in mesmerizing circles. What was wrong with me? It wasn't too early—really it wasn't. I just lay there with my nose pressed into his bare chest for what seemed like hours until his breathing deepened, and I knew that he was asleep. I eased away from him before letting my feet fall to the floor of the room silently. I needed to get away for a little while. I needed to think. Grabbing my car keys, I looked back at Chris one more time before sneaking out of the apartment. Silence invaded my space as I climbed into my car and drove—heading in a familiar direction only to pull into the parking lot of an overhang that overlooked the city of Toronto. The lights were mesmerizing as I sat there wondering what everyone else in the city was doing. Were they eating supper, sleeping, watching TV, listening to the same radio station I had tuned at the moment? Were they just as confused as I was? My window was down as the breeze blew against my face, and I inhaled the moist evening air.

"You always did come here when you were conflicted." A voice said suddenly from outside my window and I clenched my teeth together harshly as I realized it was Tom.

"I'm not conflicted." I stated simply as he shook his head before walking around the car and climbing into the passenger seat.

"Sure you're not, and I didn't just act like a total jackass back at the studio earlier tonight either." Tommy muttered sarcastically as I threw him a sideways glance.

"So, you're admitting it then?" I asked as he chuckled. The same old aristocratic Jude Harrison.

"Yes, I admit that I was an ass. And I'm sorry. You just caught me off guard that's all. Now, admit you're conflicted." Tommy stated simply as I threw him an amused look before shrugging.

"I'll admit no such thing Little Tommy Q." I replied on a laugh as Tommy threw me a look before grabbing my foot to remove my shoe. He knew I was ticklish, and I fought him.

"Jude Harrison…" He warned as my foot burned from his touch. I had to stop this. Pulling my foot away, I looked over at him solemnly again.

"I can't admit that, Tom. Please don't make me. I really do love Chris and since when did it matter. You returned home today—walking into the studio as if you were my possessive boyfriend and we've never even gone on a date. What's with that?" I asked sullenly as Tommy sighed before leaning back in the seat.

"I told you this on your seventeenth birthday Jude, and I'll tell you again. You know why." He stated softly as I just shook my head.

"Do I Tom? Huh, because I don't think I know anymore." I remarked almost on a whisper. He just peered over at me in the dark. It made me nervous.

"And if we went on a date, Jude?" He asked me quietly as I just stared out the front window.

"Then I'd have to tell you it's too late for that now, Tom." I uttered as I stepped on the brake to switch gears before looking over at him pointedly—telling him with my eyes that it was time for me to go. Tom shook his head before opening the door.

"Four months, Jude. He's known you just four months. I've known you two years." Tom said quietly as I just shook my head right back at him.

"And yet he's loved me longer." I replied simply as Tommy laughed into the darkness surrounding us.

"Are you so sure of that, Jude?" Tommy remarked as he pushed himself out of the vehicle. I looked behind me uncertainly as I processed that statement just about to back out as he rounded the car again to stand at my window.

"Darius needs us at the studio at eight in the morning." Tom mumbled as I nodded my head.

"Fine, but I have to be somewhere at one that afternoon. Chris is racing a car in a local race here in town. It's a hobby of his." I stated simply as Tommy raised a brow.

"Is it now?" Tommy asked as I shrugged.

"Must be all the adrenaline. If you ask me, it scares me to death. Too much of the Fast and the Furious for me." I remarked on a small grin as Tommy looked over at me with a glint in his eye. Okay, what was with the glint? Glints were never good.

"Hope all goes well for him." Tommy replied as he backed away and tapped the hood of my car as if to tell me I could go. I stared at him in my rearview mirror as I drove off. Tommy used to race cars didn't he? I could have sworn I heard Kwest mention that once. Oh, shit!


	4. Chapter 4

I climbed back into bed with Chris that night with my thoughts roiling like the rapids of a raging river right before it falls over the edge of a cliff. Why was I letting him get to me? Chris rolled over then, spooning against me as his arm fell over my waist and I sighed. I really did care about him—a lot. And he was seriously everything a girl could want right down to his tan muscled abs and arms. So why wasn't my mind focused on him right now? The digital clock across from my face on the bedside table read 4:00 a.m., and I finally drifted off the sleep as it flipped over to 4:01 only to awaken again a couple of hours later by the sound of Chris's groggy voice.

"Phone for you." He stated in a hoarse whisper as I glanced blurry eyed at the receiver he held out to me. What the hell?

"Hello." I said slowly as I tried sitting up in the bed only to find Chris's arm still pinned to my waist. He groaned as he turned over, and I ran a hand through his hair as I smiled down at him fondly.

"You're late." A voice said in mild irritation and I turned quickly away from the bed as I realized it was Tom. The clock on the table read. 7:50. Oh, geez! I sighed.

"Technically, I still have ten minutes." I replied in a low voice as Tommy practically growled from the other end.

"That's not enough time to get dressed and get down here by eight, Jude." Tommy muttered as the clock flipped over to 7:51.

"Not if I sit here continuing to talk to you, it's not." I stated wryly as I climbed out of the bed—looking for the jeans I had taken off the night before right before climbing into bed. I finally gave up the search—grabbing a pair out of the drawer instead. It's a good thing I had showered upon return last night—feeling the need to wash him off of me as if doing so would make me feel less guilty about thinking of him. I noticed Chris watching me from the bed as I hopped into the jeans while trying to hold the cordless phone at the same time.

"I'll bet you the first cup of coffee you can't make it in the next seven minutes." Tommy stated on a chuckle from the other end. I just grinned at the receiver—turning away from Chris as he watched my expressions curiously.

"I'll take that bet and raise you the second cup." I stated with a smile as Tommy laughed.

"Getting bold aren't we, Harrison?" Tommy asked as I glared at the phone. Leave it to him to make me feel like I was doing something indecent just by talking to him.

"Five minutes, and I'll be there buster." I said in a rush as I clicked off the phone and threw it on the bed before digging frantically for a shirt. Screw makeup. I had a bet to win.

"You're in an awful hurry, aren't you, Sassy?" Chris asked quietly from the bed as I shrugged before pulling on a red v-neck sweater while trying to convince myself that I was not wearing this particular shirt just to flash my boobs at Tom.

"I was supposed to be there at eight." I explained vaguely as Chris lifted a wary brow.

"Yes, but isn't it Darius's job to call you when you're not there on time?" Chris asked as I just stopped long enough to kiss him and grab my keys.

"Darius asked him to call, Chris." I stated simply as he smiled at me before shaking his head resolutely.

"Go win that cup of coffee. God knows you need it in the morning." Chris said on a laugh as I smiled over at him—missing the frown that suddenly marred his features when I turned toward the door.

"See you at one." I called out to him as I left—running down the stairs at breakneck speed before rushing into my car and speeding out of the parking lot. I reached the studio four minutes later—holding my hands up in victory at a smiling Tom Quincy as I climbed out of the car. He just shook his head in amusement.

"Amazing." He uttered before producing a cup of Starbucks coffee from behind his back. No way! It was even French Vanilla---my favorite flavor. Then why did I feel horrible for accepting it?


	5. Chapter 5

Tom raised a brow at me as I sipped the coffee lovingly—closing my eyes to savor every moment of the delectable taste as it burned it's way down my throat. I even licked the froth off my lips slowly—afraid that I'd miss even the littlest bit of sweetness in the bubbles only to open my eyes slowly to notice Tommy staring at me with a strained expression.

"Remind me to buy you those more often." Tommy said haltingly as I tried not to grin when I realized I had pretty much just turned him on. He deserved it—the bastard—for leaving the way he did. At least now, he'd get a good taste of what he had passed up on. Shrugging, I looked over his shoulder at the studio door warily. Why had he bought me coffee?

"Ready to work?" I asked slowly as he just grinned before shaking his head.

"Not today. We're taking a little field trip." Tommy murmured as I shook my head vehemently before backing away from him.

"Whoa there little horsey! You didn't say anything about going off to play, Tom. I came here to work. Strictly." I stated with a firm shake of my head as he backed me up toward the door of his Viper. No!

"Then pretend it's work." Tommy muttered as I pushed at his chest. I was not, I repeat, not leaving with him! He just grinned even wider as he pushed me aside to open the passenger door.

"I told Darius we were going to work out in town today—something about a broken string on your guitar that needed replacing." Tommy said with a shrug as he motioned me inside. "I know you hate to see Darius angry. Humor me." Tommy finished as I just shook my head again before sitting in his car irately. I really hated him right now.

"At least tell me where we're going." I said simply as Tommy smiled again at me before placing his arm on the back of the seat in order to back out of the parking lot. I flinched at the twinkle in his blue eyes. He was simply evil.

"We're going shopping." He replied as he pulled out into the road—dodging Toronto traffic as he took to the interstate. He was up to something.

"Shopping for what?" I asked uneasily as he just stared out into the road—avoiding my gaze as he took another turn leading up to what looked like some sort of automotive place.

"To check on my race car. It's been out of commission for far too long. I thought maybe I'd give it a try some today." Tommy stated quietly as I looked at him long and hard in agitation. Oh, he had me so angry! I looked down wickedly at his emergency brake—pulling it up with a jerk just as he entered the parking lot.

"What the hell, Jude. Do you know what that'll do to a car's brake pads? Geez!" Tommy exclaimed as I just rolled my eyes.

"Do you have any idea what you're asking _me_ to do? I'm Chris's girlfriend for God's sake, and I'm going to see _his _race this afternoon. I do not need to be shopping for a vehicle that _you_ plan on racing against him." I stated fiercely. Tom just shrugged before pulling down the brake and parking.

"I'm not asking you to, Jude. I just brought you along for the ride. You don't even have to get out of the car." Tommy remarked as he looked over at me before exiting the vehicle. His manly take-charge attitude was as attractive as it was annoying, and I tried not to smile as he threw me a look over his shoulder before heading into the place. I wasn't moving. Nope, not moving. Wait! Looking down at the ignition hopefully, I heard my cell phone ring as I sighed in defeat.

"You didn't think I'd leave you the keys, did you?" Tommy asked from the other end as I answered the phone. I just growled at the receiver.

"You can be a real hard ass, you know that?" I asked him plaintively as he just laughed. I'm glad he found it funny.

"You know you used to care a great deal about this hard ass." Tom stated simply as I leaned back into the leather of his car. We had too much history together—him and I. I sighed.

"Just complete your business and let's go. I don't feel right being here." I stated softly. I heard Tommy sigh, and I could just imagine him wincing. I knew he was feeling guilty too about bringing me, but it was almost as if he couldn't help himself. Maybe that was my problem too. But I had to try.


	6. Chapter 6

**_The race track later that afternoon…_**

Chris approached me slowly from the edge of the track as I stood at the fence looking for him resolutely, and I smiled when I noticed him. He lifted off the helmet he was wearing over his head before smiling back, and I laughed as he lifted me over the side of the fence to set me firmly on the same side as his pit crew. I wasn't supposed to be here, but rules were usually broken for the drivers. Besides, it was only a low-key race—nothing compared to the major stuff.

"I keep wondering how you don't get that earring of yours hung on the inside of that hat." I said on a chuckle as I thumped the small stud. Chris just grinned.

"It's a helmet, Jude. And I wear the earring for good luck. I got the stud out of your jewelry box." Chris informed me as I just gaped up at him suddenly—mesmerized by the idea that he would do something like that. I couldn't say anything as I ran my hand through his hair—flattening the pieces that the helmet had caused to stick up out of place. He closed his eyes at the gesture, and I was glad that he did because it was then that I caught a glimpse of Tom over his shoulder. My heart stopped as I perused Tom's racecar—feeling the familiar sweep of guilt that invaded my limbs as he raised a brow up at me from where he stood. He was staring at my hands and I pulled them hurriedly out of Chris's hair. What was I doing? Chris was my boyfriend. I could touch him if I wanted. I looked away—ignoring Tom as Chris opened his eyes once more.

"Just be careful, would you?" I asked Chris quietly as he nodded at me mutely. I was staring hard at his face now—refusing to allow my attention to be diverted to the dark haired man behind Chris's shoulder. Yep, just plain refusing. An announcer called for the spectators to take their seats, and I smiled once more at Chris as he kissed me before lifting me back up over the fence. I grabbed his hand quickly as he set me down—squeezing it reassuringly as he turned toward his car. It was then that he noticed Tom, and I closed my eyes as I noticed his back stiffen. I didn't think I could handle a confrontation. I cracked open an eyelid to see Tommy nodding at Chris before putting his helmet on his head with a smile. Chris did the same before glancing once more behind him at me. I shrugged at him—letting him know with my eyes that I hadn't known Tom would be racing. And, truth be told, I hadn't until recently. Chris just shook his head before narrowing his eyes at Tommy's car. God the tension was tearing me apart! Chris marched over to his vehicle—stepping into it before giving me a thumbs up sign. I flashed him back with the same sign before smiling brightly. He blew me a kiss and then stepped the rest of the way into the car. I sighed as Tommy took off his helmet only long enough to throw me a heated glance. It spoke volumes all on its own without any use of thumbs up signs or blown kisses. I looked away—refusing to let him see the flush that ran up the side of my cheek. I waited a few minutes before looking over again—sighing in relief when I noticed Tom already seated in his car, driving forward to the starting point. I held my breath as the man with the flag raised it slowly. I had fingers and toes crossed. I just didn't know for who as the flag lowered quickly and the cars roared to life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Once again, you guys do me proud. I was hoping you would like this story just because it holds a special place in my heart. I wanted a story where Jude feels conflicted but still remains strong--hard to do and sometimes I think it comes across as weakness on her part, but her strength will prevail. I have every intention of making Tommy beg (laugh out loud). And have you ever noticed the more forbidden something is, the more tempting it becomes. Hmmm...Please check in and keep reviewing. I love you guys! Angel422.**

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I watched the dust kicked up by the vanishing vehicles in trepidation—wondering as the racing cars rounded the corner out of sight which vehicle would be in the lead when they came back around. I also wondered vaguely about this innate need the male species seemed to have for needing to test the limits of their testosterone. How did I manage to be attracted to two guys in love with cars and with what they could do, albeit Tommy owned more of them, including a few motorcycles on the side? It made me question whether or not he also raced bikes on the side as a hobby. Did I even know half as much about Tom as I thought did? I'm guessing not. The crowd cheered as the cars rushed by again, and I strained my neck looking for Chris's number—27. I saw it falling back into spot number three followed closely behind by car number 17, which I knew from seeing it earlier, was Tommy's vehicle. Their closeness made me nervous as they passed, and I could feel the sweat bead up on my brows as I tried not to fidget nervously. God, I was going to have a friggin' coronary

I was really beginning to doubt if I should even stay. What if Tommy won? What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to react? But it _was _a distinct possibility. I knew that. Tom _was_ four years older than Chris and had that much more experience. My mind was whirring almost as fast as the speeding cars again. There was Chris—in the number two spot with Tommy neck to neck with him. I groaned. Ugghhhhhhh! I just wanted to scream with the frustration that fought to jump out of my skin.

"So, this is why Tommy was so adamant about getting out on the tracks again." A voice said suddenly from behind me, and I turned to see Kwest shaking his head slowly as he approached me before leaning casually against the fence, watching the track silently. I just shrugged as I felt heat creep up the side of my neck. I didn't need anyone else to witness this catastrophe.

"You two are playing with fire, you know?" Kwest asked quickly as he glanced over at me. I just raised a brow angrily before pointing at the speeding cars as they came back into view. Chris was edging up to first.

"Me?" I asked Kwest sourly as he continued to watch me curiously. "He's the one that came here, Kwest. He's the one that's insisting on driving me completely insane." I pointed out fiercely as Kwest just raised his brows right back up at me.

"Is he, Jude. Is he the only one?" Kwest asked softly as I stared at the ground completely missing this time who was in first place as the cars rushed by again. Tommy was the problem. _Not_ me. I wouldn't let Kwest psycho-analyze the situation. I wouldn't. I was just so conflicted—so I turned to anger to counter act it.

"Did he send you here to confuse me? Is that part of his plan too?" I asked on a scowl as Kwest just laughed at my expression.

"I'd be more worried if I were you about the fact that you jumped to blame him immediately. It speaks volumes about where your thoughts lie." Kwest commented as I stared at him in disgust—once again missing the cars as they sped by. Damn it! There was only one more lap, and I had no idea who was in the lead—didn't even have an inkling as to how I should start schooling my features. Kwest just shrugged.

"Tom'll win, Jude." Kwest remarked quietly as I looked back over at the track.

"And why do you say that?" I asked him huffily as he just laughed again before shaking his head.

"Because you know as well as I do that he doesn't admit defeat. He wants first place, and he'll fight for it." Kwest grumbled, and I watched in silent fascination almost as if it were in slow motion as the cars came around the bend toward the finish. And I couldn't help but wonder as I saw Tommy and Chris's car fighting for the first slot if Kwest was talking about the race or about Tom's fight for me. Tom's car suddenly seemed to find an extra burst of energy, and the wheels hit the finish line only a split second before Chris's. I cringed. And what did that mean for me? If he couldn't settle for second in a race, then what did that mean for me in life? Kwest clapped with the rest of the crowd as Tommy exited his car—raising his helmet with a self-satisfied smile. I saw him glance toward me, and God help me, I couldn't look away until Chris's car pulled up beside me. I stared down at it suddenly instead—pasting on a smile as he climbed out of it slowly. Chris was smiling sheepishly as he pulled off his helmet—looking over toward Tom to nod at him with new respect before turning back towards me. I could see the surprise that I felt mirrored in Tom's eyes at Chris's actions. And then I saw the guilt reflected there as well as Tom realized Chris's sportsmanship, knowing he had raced for ulterior reasons.

"He's one hell of a racer. I think I just became a better one just by racing him." Chris stated breathlessly as I smiled over at him—rushing into his embrace to congratulate him on his standings. He just shrugged.

"I have to go interview a few of the other drivers for a piece I want to do for the radio station, and then I have an appointment in town. You want to wait and go with me?" He asked me softly as I just shook my head slowly.

"Nah, I have to get back to the studio anyway. Just take your time. I'll see you later this afternoon, right?" I asked him hopefully—needing the time with him suddenly very badly. He grinned before nodding.

"You bet, Sassy." He remarked before kissing me gently along the forehead—waving once more at Tommy and the rest of the racers before melding into the crowd. I saw Tommy approaching me from the corner of my eye, and I groaned.


	8. Chapter 8

"Are you happy now?" I asked Tommy sourly as he finally reached the place where I was standing. He just shrugged.

"Give my ego a little boost, Jude. Admit that I was good." Tommy stated on a chuckle as I rolled my eyes before turning to walk away. He grabbed me by the arm.

"I'm sorry." He remarked softly as I just looked over my shoulder at him warily. We were not doing this again.

"You tend to say that a lot lately." I replied quietly as he just perused me a moment closely. I could see Kwest shaking his head at us from the corner of my eye, and I pulled away from Tom only to have him grab me around the waist firmly in order to lift me over the fence. What the…

"What the hell are you doing?" I cried out as I stomped on his toe once he put me down. He winced but didn't cry out. I was angry enough to hit him right now. Seriously. Kwest just snorted before turning to walk off the track. Why did Tom have to prove Kwest right? I wanted to call out for Kwest to come back, but Chris was still somewhere on the tracks, and I didn't want to draw attention to Tom and I. Jesus!

"A little feisty this afternoon, aren't you?" Tommy asked as I just stomped on his other foot. This time he swore and I grinned. Shaking his head, Tommy pointed gingerly over at his racecar.

"Want to see what it feels like?" Tommy asked as I just stared at him in disbelief. Was he asking me if I wanted to go around the track with him? Okay, that sentence didn't even sound right in my own head much less the minds of people who think a little bit dirtier than I do. I just shook my head.

"I don't think I care to know what going over a hundred miles an hour feels like." I stated simply as he just raised a brow at me. He knew my penchant for danger. He gave me that _'you know you want to do it_' look and I rolled my eyes again.

"One time, Jude." Tommy muttered as I looked over at the car as if I were drawn by the sudden idea.

"It's a major adrenaline rush. I don't want you to view this as anything but a friendly gesture, Jude. I'd ask you to do it even if you weren't with Chris. I don't want to lose our friendship." He remarked slowly as I just gazed at him a moment in silence.

"I don't either, Tom, but the fact is you wouldn't ask me to do it if I weren't with Chris because we wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for him." I replied caustically as Tommy shrugged.

"Point taken, but I still want you to go with me. Just for the fun of it. How many people get that chance?" Tommy asked as I looked behind him over at the tracks—making sure that we were pretty much alone. He had a point. What the hell?

"As friends." I stated firmly as he smiled before leading me over to the car and handing me a spare helmet. I fitted it over my head before climbing in in order to let him adjust the harnesses across my chest. His fingers brushed against sensitive areas as he worked, and I felt electric tingles spread outward throughout my body. I closed my eyes in order to ignore it.

"Ready?" Tommy finally asked as I nodded before he shifted gears—driving out onto the track before glancing at me one more time. I held my breath as he shifted again before roaring into action. I screamed as he accelerated—laughing as much as I was terrified as he flew through the turns. My heart pounded as everything blurred past my vision. How the hell did Tommy know where he was going? My breathing even stopped occasionally as we spinned, and I was almost light headed as he finally pulled to a stop what felt like only seconds later. Oh my God! No wonder they loved it. I jerked the helmet off, my chest heaving as I looked over at him with a smile. He pulled his off too before grinning widely at me.

"Addictive isn't it?" He asked quietly as I gasped—still trying to catch my breath through the laughter that bubbled up into my throat.

"That was amazing. God, my heart is going insane!" I stated wildly as he chuckled. I felt like a free spirit—soaring.

"Now you know how I feel." He said softly and when I looked into his face, I knew he wasn't talking about cars. No, Tommy! I caught a glimpse of Chris near the fence and I shoved my helmet back on. I didn't need any of this right now.


	9. Chapter 9

"You can take the helmet off now, Jude. He's gone." Tommy murmured as I removed it slowly to reveal my burning cheeks. I was embarrassed by the fact that I had hid. What was wrong with me? You'd think that Tommy and I were clandestine lovers or something and I hadn't even kissed him—at least not while I had been involved with Chris. The thought made my cheeks burn even hotter. I handed him back his helmet stoically before crawling out of the car and heading over to the side of the track. I had to get away from him. I could hear him following after me.

"I need to go." I mumbled as Tommy shadowed my every step.

"No, what we need to do is go to the studio and work on your music, Jude." Tommy argued as I just threw him a look over my shoulder.

"Yeah, about that…I just don't think I can work with you, Tom. I can't. " I stated numbly as he grabbed me by the arm and shoved me behind a building.

"Why, so you can forget about me, Jude?" Tom asked insistently as I pushed desperately at his arms.

"So that I can try." I pleaded softly as his lips neared mine slowly. I almost forgot to breathe until the 'bang' from an exhaust pipe on a car nearby made me jump. No! I pushed at Tommy—hard—breathing in a sigh of relief as he relented and let me go.

"I won't let you get rid of me that easily, Jude. I see the same torment in your eyes that I feel every time I see you with him." Tommy proclaimed at my back as I walked away. I didn't even turn around. I just kept on walking despite the fact that I had to close my eyes to get rid of the tears that had gathered there. Tom was good at that—making me cry. No more!

"I'll see you tomorrow then." He uttered as I stopped suddenly in my tracks. What was tomorrow? What didn't I know? Should I even bother asking him? Geez, he always knew how to stop me.

"What's tomorrow?" I asked with trepidation as Tommy sighed from behind me. He started to step forward and I took a step away—moving just one step further every time he moved. Finally, he gave up.

"The studio is doing a charity event at High Park—nothing serious. It's a picnic that will help raise money for new developing cancer treatments. There's no performing, but we're selling CDs and the celebrities are asked to help serve food. I can't not come, Jude. You'd have Darius asking questions." Tommy stated soundly as I just stared straight ahead in front of me. Why me?

"If there's no performing, then I don't have to be there." I stated simply as Tommy chuckled. I cringed.

"Have you checked your text messages lately? Darius insists that all attend. There's going to be a canoe race on Grenadier Lake and we are asked to participate. He's pairing two people a piece at the studio for three specific events, Jude. You can't get out of it." Tommy insisted. I grabbed my cell phone and flipped it open. Damn him! I hated when he was right. I just had to avoid him. That's all. I continued walking—imagining Tommy shaking his head behind me as I walked, and then I saw Chris standing in the distance talking to a driver and I ran for him—deciding that I really didn't want to go back to the studio. I _needed _to be with him instead. I needed to. He turned to look over at me in surprise as I approached, and I smiled brightly at him as I linked my arms with his upon reaching his side.

"I've decided I want to go with you." I stated simply as he just shrugged. I chanced a glance over my shoulder to see Tommy staring with a frown. Well, let him frown.


	10. Chapter 10

I looked over at Chris as he drove back to the apartment later that night with trepidation only because I knew he had been giving me strange looks all evening almost as if he could read the conflicting thoughts that kept running haphazardly throughout my head. This was not my day, I tell you.

"You're awful quiet tonight." I said finally as Chris just smiled slowly at me before reaching out and taking my hand gently into his—driving with one hand as he maneuvered through the streets.

"I'm just tired." He replied simply, and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end at the frank statement. That was an 'uh oh' statement—the kind of phrase that everyone used when something was bothering them, but they didn't want to talk about it. I unlatched my seat belt and scooted over to him warily—twisting the stud in his ear slowly as I leaned up to kiss him on the neck. He just squeezed my hand—hard.

"Something _is_ bothering you." I said frankly as he just shrugged again before pulling his hand out of mine.

"I thought I saw you in Tom Quincy's race car at the tracks, Jude. Were you riding in it, perchance? And please tell me the truth. Please." Chris pleaded softly as I turned to look out the window into the night. I couldn't lie to him so I just nodded mutely as he sighed from behind the wheel.

"What is he to you, Jude? Is he just your producer?" Chris asked in a whisper as I glanced over at him soberly.

"He's not even that now. I fired him." I stated matter-of-factly as Chris looked over at me in surprise—cataloguing the serious expression I had etched across my features.

"Did you do that because you didn't like his work, Jude, or because you found it difficult to work with him?" He asked seriously as I flinched. I didn't want to break up with him. Why didn't he just quit asking me all of these questions? I stared steadily at my hands.

"Because I found it difficult to work with him." I replied in a hushed tone as Chris winced. I knew that had hit home, but I was such a horrible liar. Telling him anything else would have been a disaster. He grew quiet again.

"I hope you figure things out, Jude, because I don't have the strength to walk away from you. If we broke up, you would have to be the one that left." He replied softly as I looked over at him soberly. He was right. I really need to figure things out. I dreaded the picnic tomorrow. I dreaded it terribly.


	11. Chapter 11

**_The Picnic at High Park the following afternoon…_**

I stood at the edge of the grass uncertainly—watching with unease as the rest of the crew from G Majors mingled with the crowd as if this were nothing more than your average day—a mere moment in studio history. For me, it was a nightmare. I watched Chris peruse me silently from the sidelines, and I couldn't help but wince. I really did love him, but sometimes I felt like he was too good—as if he couldn't argue with me. I needed him to be angry sometimes just so I'd know he wasn't perfect—just so I'd know that he had emotions stronger than sympathy. Or maybe it was just because I was afraid that I had used that calm façade of his to get over Tom, and that made me uneasy. He smiled at me and I smiled back just as Darius approached me from the side. Why was I arguing myself out of a perfectly healthy relationship? Did I really want arrogant, 'I always get what I want' Tom?

"A perfect day for a fundraiser." Darius stated cheerfully as I just raised a brow up at him. Yep, he was making money out of this somehow. I could guarantee it. Nothing put him in a better mood than a stack of Greenbacks. I just rolled my eyes as Darius motioned for us to join him.

"Okay." He announced as I leaned causally against the back of a tree—watching as the rest of the gang strolled up lazily. I saw Tommy roll his eyes, and I couldn't help but laugh at our similar attitudes. He was so classic.

"Here's the list of events and who I have participating in them." Darius stated quickly as he laid it out on a nearby picnic table. I was too afraid to look at it so I just hung back against the tree—silently considering wrapping myself around the thing just so I could stay in one place all day. Tommy looked over at me with a grin, and I groaned. I knew what that look meant.

"Ready to kick some ass, Partner?" He asked me casually as he came to lean against the tree next to me. I just threw him a _'if we have to_' look. He chuckled.

"Go ahead. Throw it at me. What do we have to do other than canoeing?" I asked him uneasily as his smile widened even more.

"Other than making out and hiding in a forest somewhere…." He asked as I just threw a leaf at his head. He grinned. It was nice to have him bantering with me instead of fighting so hard against Chris for my affections, but from the expression in Tommy's eyes, it was almost as if he had admitted defeat. Wait! I didn't know if I wanted him to quit vying for my attention. I almost enjoyed it, and I knew I shouldn't. He shrugged.

"We have to do a three-legged race along with the canoeing. Believe it or not, that's all he's got us down for right now. Count your blessings Harrison." Tommy said on a laugh as I just leaned over suddenly to pull a leaf that had fallen onto his head out of his hair. His face sobered quickly as I brushed at it gently, and I felt myself entranced by his piercing gaze as he seemed to fight some internal, demonic battle. I couldn't stand it anymore. I lowered my hand to my side—clenching it there to relieve the burn that suddenly infused it. Now would be a good time to just start the events. Yep, definitely a good time.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Chris…_**

Chris watched Jude from the sidelines of the picnic thoughtfully—perusing her blonde hair and blue eyes with the same fascination he always did, but today he saw her the same way he had found her the day he had met her—confused. Chris had lived the music industry for years--knew the dangers and the emotional turmoil it caused--knew the fear it could give you as well as the joy. He had fought his own battles with drugs--with addiction and women. He wasn't as clean cut as she thought he was. He had a past too. Somehow he didn't blame her for her confusion—just despised the thought that he wasn't the reason for it. No, that dark haired devil Tom Quincy was and it irked him. Chris loved Jude mostly because of her brash character—her ability to face all odds with her head held high and her fists punching out at any obstacles, but with Quincy she was different—almost as if she reverted into herself—fighting some internal battle that caused her not to appear weak but tormented. He almost didn't blame her. She had never lied to him—had told him everything he had wanted to know when he had asked her about the two year relationship between Tom and her.

_It's complicated_, she had told him—pointing out that he was her producer and that while she depended on him for the musical instruction she needed, she also fought feelings for him that had been battered and bruised so many times by his actions towards her that she just wasn't sure about him anymore. But Chris could see the truth written on her face as she brushed a leaf from Quincy's hair. She still loved the man more than she was willing to admit. Chris saw the hurt in her eyes too—the hurt that made her act out like a wounded animal—that even caused her to act younger than her years at times doing things like getting drunk the night the man had left. But, on top of that, he saw the anger—the anger that had created the determined and successful woman that she was today. Chris kept his fingers crossed that Jude wouldn't let Tom get to her—that she would fight him. But something told him no matter how hard she fought, the battle couldn't be won. Chris just wondered how long it would take her to figure that out—how long it would take her to figure out that he had just been a re-bound, a long distance easy relationship that had become more of a deep friendship—a way to heal. Maybe even a way to forget.

**_Tommy…_**

Tommy watched Jude quietly—peering down into her face with the same hard expression he had been using on her for days. Why? Because he couldn't understand what was wrong with him. Why the moment that he had walked into the studio seeing another guy holding her made him so angry? And why that anger had caused him to lash out so brutally? Was he that big of a jackass or was he just using the conceit he knew how to use so well to protect himself? Jude wasn't a child anymore. Still too young in the eyes of the law, but definitely not a child. She had endured too much—went through too much pain. And he was the cause of a good deal of it. Otherwise, she wouldn't look at him as if he were a dangerous animal—afraid that if she took a wrong step, he'd strike. But isn't that what he had been doing since he got back—stalking her like a predator and all because there was so much damn stuff unresolved between them. Maybe that was their problem—that he had left at the beginning of something between them that neither one of them had evaluated yet. It was his fault for leaving the issue open—the chapter unfinished. It made Tom realize something suddenly and he took in a deep breath. That was where _her_ conflict came from—it came from not knowing if she wanted to find out what would have happened if he hadn't left before Chris came into her life. _His_ came from hoping she would decide that she wanted to figure out what was between them then so that they could explore it more. Jude rolled her eyes at something else that Darius said and Tommy grinned. It was time for him to back off—to quit being angry about the decisions she had made since he left—to quit wondering what she did in her apartment at night. Because the truth was he knew her better than that—knew that she hadn't taken that next step with Chris because he knew how she thought. And she wouldn't do that to the guy when there were issues that were unresolved in her life. That's what made her older beyond her years. Tom glanced behind him at Chris who stared right back at him. They weren't much different—the two of them. Both of them were older than her—both of them attracted to her liberating spirit and fiery passion. The only difference was that Chris had made the decision to let her into his life. Tom had just walked away. Well, that was about to change. It was time to go back to the Quincy he had been before—the one that teased and flirted without being overbearing (okay so maybe he had always been a little overbearing), but he wanted Jude to quit seeing him as the villain and start viewing him and Chris as the two separate men they were. Mentally, Tom backed off.


	13. Chapter 13

**_Author's Note: Well, here's to another day. I'm going to try and upload a few chapters on each story at a time today. In this one, I just wanted to thank everyone again for the reviews. I love this story only because it is as painful and angry as it is funny. I know what it is to endure grief--it'll make you angry and completely turn around your personality at times. I see that happening for Tom in the new season because I feel like something bad is going to happen for him in Montana that he has to work through when he returns. Who knows. Let's hope he doesn't drink like he did in the episode where Chaz came onto the show. Jude's also enduring pain from abandonment issues and etc. This is their way of finding thier way through it. Hope you stick with it. Please R&R. Angel422. Disclaimer...I do not own Instant Star or its characters.

* * *

_****_Jude…_**

"I feel like a kid again." Tommy stated with a laugh as he tied the bandana around my ankle and his—tightening it enough that it wouldn't slip as we ran. I just rolled my eyes at him.

"When did you ever stop being one?" I asked him caustically as he lifted a brow at me before taking a very definitive big step forward. I yelped as I tripped before landing on my butt near his foot.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Jude. I didn't hear you. What did you say again?" Tommy asked sweetly as I just stood up and brushed myself off while muttering under my breath.

"The animal part of this event is in the woods, Tom. I think I hear them calling to you. You weren't raised by wolves were you?" I remarked with a growl as he chuckled and started to take another step forward. This time I anticipated his movements and grabbed onto his arm to keep myself from falling.

"Weren't thinking about tripping me again now were you?" I asked with a wry raise of my brow as Tommy shrugged.

"Who me?" He asked innocently as I looked up into his face curiously. What was wrong with him today? It was almost as if he were a different man—less angry but no less determined. It intrigued me. And worried me too. Because now he wouldn't be so easy to resist. Chris was leaving in a couple of days and the thought of having Tom to myself again was chilling. There was too much baggage between us.

"You're right, I feel like a kid again." I said on a laugh as the picnic announcer (Kwest) called for us to head towards the starting line--only Tommy and I couldn't seem to make it an inch without tripping. Jamie and Patsy scooted by while giving us the thumbs down sign as I just held my stomach from the pain caused in it by my chuckles. I pulled Tommy's arm around my shoulder.

"Okay…now let's just take each step on the count of 'one two, one two'--our tied feet and then our loose feet. Okay?" I asked between gasps as Tommy just shrugged.

"Whatever you say, mam." Tommy replied just as Spied and Wally tripped over beside us. At this point, I didn't think any of us were going to make it to the starting point. The small cancer patients were loving it—cheering from the sidelines and laughing, and I smiled over at a few of them tenderly.

"That's makes me sad." I said to Tommy in a whisper as we made our way slowly this time to where we were supposed to be. Tom just looked down at me a moment soberly.

"Maybe this childhood blast from the past we're being made to endure will be their ticket home." Tommy answered with a small smile as he glanced over to the sidelines too. His smile was sadder than mine. It made me wonder if part of his anger was a way to cover up grief. Had he lost someone? Was that why he had left? I didn't get a chance to ask him because Kwest began the count down just as we reached the line and Tommy and I both smiled suddenly. This really _was _a way to just let loose.

"Go!" Kwest shouted and we started running—well sort of limping toward the finish—tripping only half way through on top of each other, and I couldn't help but gasp as Tommy's elbow knocked the breath out of me.

"Okay, I've officially decided I'm too old for this." I said on a chuckle while trying to catch my breath as we all looked up to see Patsy and Jamie cross the line first. Oh yeah, those two were something else.

"You and me both." Tommy replied as we practically crawled into last place before lying down on the grass with a new round of laughter.

"Just untie the thing." I stated ruefully as Tommy sat up to untie the cloth. I looked over at him then as he smiled boyishly at me and I realized something.

"I'll be right back." I told him quietly as he pulled off the bandana. He just frowned at me before nodding, and I looked down at him confused. I guess I had expected him to fight with me about that, but he didn't. So I turned and walked away.


	14. Chapter 14

"We need to talk." I said quietly to Chris as I approached him from behind. He turned around with a sad expression etched across his features.

"Yeah, I think we do." Chris replied soberly as we both headed slowly over to a picnic table set up at the edge of the grounds. I was tired of lying to Chris. It was time I came clean.

"I should have told you something about me when we met Chris, but I was too ashamed and more than a little scared when you walked into my life." I stated simply as he just leaned back on the bench before tapping his fingers on the table.

"It's fine if you want to call it quits, Jude. You don't have to explain." He replied almost huffily before standing up. I grabbed him firmly by the arm.

"Yes, I do." I remarked fiercely as his eyes widened at my stoic response. He sat back down reluctantly.

"It's not that I want to call it quits, Chris. It's just that when you came into the studio four months ago, I needed the attention and the affection you offered me. I even craved it because I had been abandoned by so many people—so very many people in my life. I hadn't realized how much that hurt me until you showed up, and I grasped the opportunity. I just kept telling myself what the harm was in letting us have a long distance relationship—enjoying the love I felt from you but not really letting myself get to know you all that well because of the distance. It was perfect. And it was wrong of me. I think I learned my lesson from Tom Quincy too well because he did that to my sister. I don't want to hurt you more by telling you there's nothing going on between Tom and I because I'm not so sure there isn't. I just don't know. I need to figure that out. But I also don't want him to know that we broke up. I don't want him to think he won." I stated quietly as Chris just shook his head.

"I guess it's my fault for letting myself think you could love me after so little time and so much distance between us. But, Jude, you need to stop and think for a moment about what you're doing. Do you really want to give him another chance?" Chris asked quietly as I just stared over at him a moment in silence.

"Chris, I couldn't call myself an adult if I didn't. Because adults don't run away from their problems. They face them. Jamie keeps telling me that—the stubborn little bastard." I stated with a grin as I recalled the night in Mason's hotel room when he had come to fetch me. Yeah, I definitely needed to face them. Sometimes it took me a while to realize these kinds of things, but hey eventually I start to listen to my head a little.

"Besides, what Tommy doesn't know won't hurt him. He won't know I'm giving him another chance. No, he deserves a little more hell than that." I replied on a small smile as Chris shook his head again.

"I can't pretend to be your boyfriend, Jude. I'm having a hard enough time realizing that I might have made a mistake with you." Chris answered as I just perused him with surprise.

"_You _didn't make the mistake. _I_ did. And I'm not asking you to pretend anything. But I still want you to be my friend Chris. I need that. You've become indispensable to me." I said softly as he grinned at me suddenly.

"I'm starting to feel like that guy off that movie _Pretty in Pink_ who adores the ground Molly Ringwald walks on despite the fact that she loves someone else." Chris replied sardonically as I just grinned.

"See, I never knew you had even seen that movie. Makes me wonder about you." I said with a raised brow as Chris just threw his hands up into the air.

"Would you believe me if I said an ex-girlfriend made me watch it?"Chris asked as I just laughed. The man was priceless. He rolled his eyes.

"Maybe we can do the friend thing. I have secrets too, Jude." Chris said softly as I just glanced over at him warily.

Maybe we used each other." He replied as he lifted up the arm of his shirt to point out something I had never noticed before. Why hadn't I noticed? He had the scars from old track marks.

"You were a user?" I asked him in a whisper as he just shrugged.

"You're one of the lucky ones, Jude. It runs rampant in the music industry. The press doesn't cover it enough. It's ugly business and it's overlooked by the glamour" Chris stated simply as I stood up to walk around the bench—sitting down next to him slowly before looking at him in amusement.

"Am I your muse?" I asked him teasingly as he rolled his eyes. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Muse is such a strong term. Maybe we should just say we've been each other's shoulders to lean on." He replied with a shrug. I winked.

"It doesn't hurt that yours is a pretty good looking shoulder too." I stated wryly as he laughed along with me. It felt good to open up—to let someone else know my problems. I glanced over at Tommy then. That was another problem altogether.


	15. Chapter 15

"Are you okay?" Tommy asked me about thirty minutes later as I approached the spot where he was sitting next to the lake.

"Yeah." I answered truthfully as I glanced skeptically at the canoe he was steadily holding onto. Unsteady boats were not my idea of a good time. And if the three-legged race was proof of anything, then Tom and I didn't have much in-sync rhythm going on either. We were so screwed. He laughed as he watched the doubt that flitted across my features.

"Believe it or not, I'm not that bad at canoeing, Jude." Tom replied defensively as I looked over my shoulder at Chris. He was eyeing the boat skeptically too. Yep, totally screwed. I watched as the other racers got ready to enter the water, and I watched Tom motion to the boat quickly.

"Ladies first." He remarked as I raised a brow at him before climbing into the thing. His civility was scaring me. I yelped as he rocked it gently on purpose—glaring at him over my shoulder as he just grinned at me before pushing it towards the water. I grabbed onto the sides—hard—as I heard it splash into the lake before Tommy jumped in and grabbed a paddle to push it the rest of the way in with. The race hadn't started yet, but most of us were just trying to get a feel for it before it did. Tom turned around to face me and sat down. It grew quiet between us as we just glanced at each other.

"You seem distracted." Tommy remarked as I just glanced out over the lake at the ripples the boat was creating. Distracted would be an understatement. I just shook my head mutely.

"I'm sorry I left, Jude. Especially the way that I did." He remarked as I just shrugged. I didn't want to discuss that now. I looked up to see Chris still standing on the shoreline. His look bothered me. He had never looked that way before, and I wondered at it especially now that we were finally just starting to get to know each other. His earring flashed in the sunlight. It was still my stud. I looked over at Tommy again. He was watching me quietly.

"Are you and Chris okay?" Tommy asked softly as I just glared at Tom. That was not a good question at the moment. He threw his hands up as if to say 'fine.' Kwest suddenly called for the race to begin, and I let Tommy row us over next to the rest of the participants as I picked up my paddle.

"You think we might actually be any good at this." I asked him in amusement as I watched him shrug. I rolled my eyes before splashing water at his head with my paddle just as Kwest yelled 'go.' Tommy threw me a look as we both dug our paddles into the glassy surface—finally figuring out each other's rhythm as we went. He lifted his paddle up further than he should on purpose to send a spray of the wet liquid straight into my face. I choked on it before narrowing my eyes. I could see him trying not to laugh. I picked up my paddle again and threw up even more water. He screeched.

"That's for being such a smart ass the past couple of days." I declared with a grin as he turned around a little causing the boat to sway. I gripped the sides immediately as he threw more water at me.

"That's for you just being you." He remarked as I grinned again. There were cheers from the crowd and I knew we had fallen behind as more water came at me. We were both getting soaked now—not noticing that the canoe was swaying precariously until Jamie yelled.

"You're about to go overboard!" But it was too late. The boat flipped, and I gasped as I took in a lung full of water before digging my way up to surface—coming up sputtering. Tommy was beside me and I laughed as he broke the surface too.

"That's what you get for arguing with me, Harrison." He said on a chuckle as I splashed him in the face before swimming for the shore. He followed closely behind—dragging the canoe. It was Chris that held out his hand to me as I slugged out of the water—peering down into my face laughingly before leaning over to whisper in my ear.

"I think I've decided to extend my stay here a little longer." He announced as I glanced up into his face. There was heat there now, and I shivered. He might have agreed to call it quits, but that wasn't stopping him. Why should I expect it too? Glancing between the two men as Tommy stood up behind me, I realized something. I may not belong to either one of them now, but both were suddenly willing to fight for me. And by breaking up with Chris, I had only managed to raise the stakes.


	16. Chapter 16

I looked at Chris curiously as the water dripped off of me onto the ground below. He was staying. I needed to clear my head so I started walking. I could hear Tommy following closely behind, and I stopped suddenly to peer at Chris over my shoulder.

"You can't stay with me." I said suddenly—realizing that as I did, I was pretty much revealing what was going on between Chris and I. Tommy's eyes suddenly sparked with interest. Chris sighed.

"I wasn't planning to. I'll move to a hotel tonight." He answered softly as I just nodded mutely. My days just kept getting more and more complicated. I perused him quietly a moment before turning to walk away again. Tommy followed.

"What's going on?" He asked me suddenly as I marched toward a hiking trail at the edge of the park. I didn't even look at him as I took careful steps considering my shoes were full of water.

"We broke up." I answered simply. "And it's not because of you." I added suddenly as he took a deep breath from beside me. I know he had not been expecting that.

"I'm hoping that'll change though." A voice said from behind us, and I turned to see Chris walking to my left. Ugghhh! I wanted to scream, but I walked instead—taking off the jacket that was draped over my clothes. It wasn't helping as wet as it was. I tripped suddenly on a rock on the trail, and I dropped the linen coat into the trees next to me. Damn it!

"I've got it." Tommy and Chris said together as they both walked into the bushes. I just shook my head.

"Forget about it." I stated simply until a sign suddenly caught my attention. I had to place a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing.

"Ummm…Boys!" I cried out as they stuck their heads out of the trees. I pointed at the sign quickly as they walked out towards me. I backed away. Tommy followed the direction of my finger and groaned. The sign read.

_BEWARE: Poison Ivy

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**Author's Footnote: Hey Guys! Sorry I haven't left many A/N's today, but I love you guys! Truly I do. I have the worst sinus infection today or cold—whatever it is, and I can't quit sneezing here at work. I've been through at least an entire bag of cough drops. But I had to come to work. I just _had_ to post for you guys. And don't worry I'll be here tomorrow too. Enjoy my stories. Hugs and smiles. Angel422**


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I've had a hard time getting the site to come up today, but now it's up and here I am to post before the weekend. Just for you guys! Hope you enjoy. Smiles

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**

I slammed through the door of my apartment later that evening more than just a little wary as I dropped my purse on the floor before stepping out of my now stiff clothes. I really needed a shower. So I made a mental list for myself—running straight into the bathroom and turning on the water before drying myself off once I was finished and heading into the bedroom. Two boxes caught my eye. What the hell? I walked over to them warily. One was from Tommy and the other was from Chris. I opened Chris's up first to find my spare key and a dozen red roses. Underneath both was a velvet box with a pair of diamond studs—_To make up for the one I took_—he had written in big, bold print inside a card and I laid it to the side wearily. The gesture was a thoughtful one, but I saw it for what it was—a means to remedy our relationship. It made me feel both tired and guilty for ending it in the first place.

I moved over to the one from Tommy, and I gasped when I saw what was inside. I couldn't help but smile. Inside was a bag of ground up coffee and a Mug that said "_I am not an early riser. Bite me."_ I laughed as I picked it up—flipping it upside down when I noticed something else inside. It was a picture of us giving each other a high five that Kwest had taken when we had finished my third album. I couldn't help but notice its battered condition as if he had carried it around in his pocket. A note came with his as well.

"_I'm sorry for missing your album's release, Jude. You don't know how much. This is to help you make it through the days and nights we'll have to spend making another."_ It read, and I pressed it against my chest. It almost erased the anger I had towards him because I knew he was hurting about something, but I was afraid to ask him what it was—I was afraid it was hurt over a lost love or an old relationship. I couldn't handle that idea right now. I closed both boxes before smiling and heading back out of the apartment after throwing on some clothes. The boys were going to drive me nuts!

I laughed at the thought of them both stuck now at Tommy's place since the hotel Chris had tried to reserve refused to book him due to his case of poison Ivy. It was clear he was going to have to stay with me again and Tommy quickly invited him to stay at his place—considering they were both suffering from the same ailment and I think to keep him away from me. I headed over there—interested over the idea of getting a good look at the place as well as to give the guys a return gift for the one's they left me. I stopped only once at a local drug store before pulling into the parking lot of Tommy's condo. I headed up the stairs quickly—climbing into the elevator with unabridged impatience as the numbers flashed one by one until the doors finally dinged open. I stopped at the threshold a moment nervously before knocking. I could hear a chair fall over as someone made his way over to the door. I tried not to grin—only to lose the battle when the door opened to reveal a badly splotched Tommy. He scowled at my smiling face before opening the door wide enough for me to enter. I eyed the couch where Chris lay miserably before throwing them each a brown paper bag.

"What's this?" Tommy asked suspiciously as I shrugged with a grin.

"It's a present for you guys to thank you for the ones you left me." I stated simply as Tommy and Chris arched their eyebrows at me before tearing into the sacks. Tommy sighed as he pulled out the item within.

"Bless you." He murmured as he held up the bottle of pink calamine lotion. I just shrugged.

"I figured you guys wouldn't be up to going out and getting your own. Keep digging. There's more." I stated quickly as Tommy pulled out a box of Aveeno Oatmeal bath. He laughed as he read the label. Chris just groaned. He seemed to have a worse case than Tommy.

"I am in hell. Did you know this guy doesn't own one CD by U2 or Incubus?" he asked me wryly as Tommy rolled his eyes. I covered my mouth to hide my grin. Nope, Tommy had more eclectic taste than that. He liked artists who hadn't even been discovered by the general public yet—artists that he might even produce himself if he had the chance. He was almost constantly in work mode. I perused Tom quietly as he lifted something else out of his bag. He laughed. It was his own coffee mug with the logo—_mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all. _Chris looked up warily.

"I have a feeling I'm missing something here." Chris replied on a moan as Tommy shook his head. I forgot to mention that Chris is a huge baby when he's sick.

"No, nothing at all." Tommy remarked quietly as our gazes locked.


	18. Chapter 18

I sat between the guys quietly munching on a bowl of popcorn while Tommy played a game of cards with Chris—trying desperately to keep their minds off the itching that they both must be feeling. There was no way I was touching the deck Tom had spread out in his hands.

"I am truly amazed at your capacity not to scratch yourself, Tom." I said seriously as I threw another piece of popcorn into my mouth. He just glared at me as I smiled cheekily. Chris, on the other hand, had to wear a pair of gloves out of Tom's bedroom to keep from scratching his. God, I was enjoying this way too much! I looked over Chris's shoulder at his cards. He was beating Tommy badly. I shook my head at Tom, giving it away that Chris had a bad hand. I ducked just as Chris swatted at me.

"Jude!" He cried out as I shrugged while Tommy smiled over at me. I couldn't help it. I really was impressed by his self-control. I'd be bleeding from all the scratching by now if it were me. He deserved to win that game at this point.

"I'm impressed by your ability to cheat." Tommy muttered as I shrugged. Chris rolled his eyes before throwing down the cards. Tom had won that hand easily. I looked up at the clock and jumped up quickly. I hated driving at night as it was and it was way beyond time for me to head home. I muttered my excuses and headed for the door. Tommy followed.

"Thank you for the things you brought." He said softly as I just stared over into his face. Now would be a good time to admit that I wasn't angry at him anymore. I glanced over at Chris who was sitting with his back against the couch and his face pinched together miserably before glancing back at Tom.

"And I want to thank you for saying you were sorry." I replied back as I turned toward the door again.

"Now do that coffee mug proud and come looking spiffy to the studio tomorrow." I told him winsomely as he glanced down at the rash on his skin and winced.

"Yeah, right. Sure thing." He answered me wryly as I laughed at the two of them one final time before heading out the door. The next few weeks were going to be interesting.

"And stop scratching!" I yelled over my shoulder at Chris as I heard him mumble at my back.

"Damn, the woman's got eyes on the back of her head.


	19. Chapter 19

**_Chris and Tommy…_**

"If you scratch anymore, you'll permanently scar yourself." Tommy announced as he sat down on the opposite end of the couch, away from the miserable Chris. Chris just rolled his eyes before getting up and grabbing the lotion again as he shook his head.

"Scars add character, right?" He asked with a shrug as Tommy just grinned before putting his sock clad feet up on his coffee table.

"Depends what you mean by character. I've already seen the one's on your arms. Does Jude know you were a user, Chris?" Tommy asked nonchalantly as Chris stiffened before turning back toward the couch—his itching forgotten.

"She does now. Do you have a problem with that, Quincy? From what I hear, you had the same problem with alcohol. Is that why you carry nothing stronger in this house than those nasty Red Bull energy drinks?" Chris asked haughtily as Tommy raised a brow up at him before getting up to walk over to his refrigerator.

"You care for one, Chris. It looks like you could use the extra stamina it gives you for working out. I see you're lacking a little in muscle definition." Tommy commented as he tapped his own now naked chest. Chris just shook his head as he paced across the room to face Tommy.

"You're an asshole, Quincy." He stated simply as Tommy stared him directly into the eyes before nodding thoughtfully.

"So I've been told before." He reiterated before closing the door of the fridge forcefully and walking over to a cabinet located underneath his sink—leaning over gingerly before grabbing a brown, paper wrapped bottle hidden inside the dark, hidden depths. He unwrapped it carefully before grabbing two shot glasses and walking back into the living room. Chris narrowed his eyes as he followed closely behind.

"It's Whiskey, eighty proof—a bottle a friend of mine gave me years and years ago. You can hardly get it that strong anymore. Sit down." Tommy commanded softly as he motioned toward the armchair opposite the couch before placing the two shot glasses in the middle of the glass-topped coffee table. He filled them both as Chris sat down both determinedly and a little uneasily.

"Straight up?" Tommy asked as Chris nodded. What the hell were they doing? If Jude were there, she would have said it was some screwed up version of male bonding. Tom called it a way of forgetting—of letting Chris know exactly where he stood on the Jude issue. Tommy held his glass up into the air in a mock salute gesture before downing the liquid quickly—clenching his teeth as the burn made its way down the back of his throat. Sweet Jesus! Chris's jaw tightened as he did the same before coughing at the strength of the amber colored fluid. Tommy chuckled.

"You slept with her yet?" Tom asked suddenly very seriously as he refilled the glasses. Chris looked over at him with narrowed eyes.

"I'm not drunk enough yet to reveal anything like that." Chris stated simply as Tommy downed another shot before staring Chris straight into the eyes almost menacingly. Chris grabbed his shot and upended it before finally sighing.

"No, I haven't although I've probably gotten a whole hell of a lot further than you have." Chris proclaimed as Tommy leaned back against the couch cushions irately before turning up the bottle and swigging some of the liquid before filling the glasses again. Of course Chris probably had. It's not like Tommy had ever been in a position to do or be anything to Jude other than her producer and the man that always broke her heart. And he wasn't sure why he had even asked. He knew Jude better than that—knew she thought things through way too much—analyzed it too deeply. If she had loved Chris enough to sleep with him, then they wouldn't be broken up now. It gave him renewed hope. He pulled a dime out of his pocket before nodding toward the glasses.

"Take a shot, man. If it lands in the whiskey, I have to down my glass. If it doesn't, then you have to." Tommy remarked with a wry raise of his brow before throwing Chris the dime. Chris caught it in midair with a sneer. He didn't even say anything—just took aim and shot. It landed wide and Chris shrugged as if to say 'oh well' before letting Tommy take the dime. Tom took his aim and shot. It landed dead center into the middle of Chris's shot glass. Chris looked over at Tommy warily before picking up the liquid and downing it—coughing again as he did. Tom awarded him with a small smile as Chris set it back down on the table only to have it re-filled.

"I have a feeling you've done this before." Chris remarked simply as Tommy shrugged.

"I'm the alcoholic remember." Tommy stated as Chris almost laughed. He was already beginning to feel a little fuzzy around the edges while Tom didn't even seem to be fazed in the least. Tom took another swig from the bottle as Chris threw the dime again—this time watching as it landed in the glass and then bounced out again. Damn! Tommy just shook his head before downing the glass anyway.

"At this point in the game, I figure it's about time I give you a little help." Tommy muttered as Chris started to sway a little bit.

"I really do care about her." Chris stuttered as Tommy nodded. He handed the bottle to Chris who upended it. Chris didn't even cough this time.

"Bet you don't itch anymore do you?" Tom asked as Chris started laughing. No, he really didn't. Both men lounged a minute in silence before coming to some sort of silent truce.

"It's her decision." They both said simultaneously as Chris handed the bottle back over to Tom. It's almost as if they had finally come to terms with their competitive natures.

"Damn, what's in that stuff, man?" Chris asked as Tommy laughed before laying the bottle down shakily. He was beginning to feel the effects now too.

"Well you know they say that the best whiskey is made out of too much honesty and a passle of loose tongues." Tom stated wryly as Chris laughed hard enough he fell off the chair. Tom guffawed.

"No shit." Chris gasped out as he tried pulling himself up again only to lay sprawled instead out on the carpet. Tom peered down at him a moment blurrily.

"Just know that if you got a wretch, get to the bathroom first." Tom remarked as Chris saluted him from the floor before passing out. 'Yep,' Tommy thought to himself as he upended the bottle once more. 'what right do I have to a girl seven years my junior? What right at all?'


	20. Chapter 20

**_Jude…_**

I entered the studio the next morning warily when I noticed Chris's car sitting outside in the lot, and I couldn't help but cringe at the idea of another male to male confrontation. But that was before I walked into the soundroom to find both guys sitting at the soundboard discussing what sounded like beats and rhythms along with possible lyric ideas. What the hell? I watched them a moment in amused silence as Kwest skirted past me with two steaming cups of coffee. He smiled at me before shrugging as if to say 'hell if I know' in answer to my unspoken question.

"You two didn't get engaged over a common poison ivy affliction, did you?" I asked on a small smile as Chris and Tom both looked up simultaneously. Their eyes were bloodshot and from the bottle of aspirin sitting on a table nearby, I had a sneaking suspicion what those two had been up to the night before. Chris just shrugged.

"It took me a whole case of chocolates and a dozen roses, but he finally consented." Chris commented on a laugh as I narrowed my eyes at the two. I knew that comment was a silent way to inform me that it probably wasn't wise to ask about what had happened so I kept my mouth shut—focusing instead on the upcoming tour Darius had just informed me that he had lined up for me in America.

"You look just a little uptight." Tommy remarked quietly as I took a seat next to him slowly. I barely even looked over at him as I stared out into the empty recording room remembering everything that had happened there over the past two years.

"I'll be leaving on tour soon." I declared softly as I heard him sigh next to me. I wasn't fond of the idea that I would be leaving so soon after his return especially since I was just beginning to realize that I might want to explore what we had just begun when he left the first time. Chris touched me lightly on the shoulder from behind me and I jumped. He immediately apologized as I spun around.

"Want to get out of the studio for a little while?" He asked suddenly as I just shook my head slowly until Tommy grabbed me surprisingly by the hand. My whole body felt as if it had been hit by lightening.

"Go." Tommy stated in a low tone as I glanced back over at him uncertainly. "Darius told me about the tour. He doesn't want us to get too heavily involved in the production of a fourth album until you've made the circuit." Tom finished as I glanced between then two men quietly before finally consenting. I made it halfway to the door before stopping to look back at Tom. I just _needed_ time with him before we got separated again. I _needed _it.

"You coming?" I asked him suddenly as he looked over at me in shocked surprise. I just shrugged as Tommy began to shake his head only to have Kwest push against his shoulder almost demandingly.

"Go." Kwest whispered loudly as I looked over into Tom's eyes imploringly. I didn't know what Chris was doing behind me, and I didn't care. I wanted Tom to come. Tom stared down at the soundboard as if it held some almighty answer to his dilemma before finally standing up and grabbing his leather jacket.

"I never could deny that sullen expression of yours." He whispered as we turned to walk out of the studio and I smiled. I had to remember that about him.


	21. Chapter 21

"I do not, I repeat, do not ice skate." Tom informed me with determined repetition about an hour later as Chris skated by with a small smirk on his face. I pulled insistently on Tommy's arm. He lived in Canada for God's sake! He had to have skated at least once in his life. The expression in his eyes told me he hadn't.

"What if I told you I'd hold your hand the whole time." I begged persistently as Tommy shook his head vehemently once again. I sighed. Jesus! The man was stubborn! If I could just get a pair of skates on his dead-blasted feet…

"Not intimidated by a little bit of ice, are you Quincy?" Chris asked on a laugh as he whirred by us again. I saw Tommy's jaw clench. That did it.

"Hand me the damn skates, Harrison." Tommy demanded as I grinned. Kudos to Chris! Nothing more effective than a jab at a guy's manliness. Now, I was interested to see how long I could manage to keep the man out there with me. I watched him lace the skates quietly—trying not to laugh as he silently cursed creation in general underneath his breath before standing up precariously. I held out my hand with a winsome smile—thanking the heavens for the gloves that kept his splotched skin from touching mine although Tom looked almost back to normal and I was pretty sure his hands hadn't been affected by the poison ivy. At least, I didn't remember a rash there.

"Gives a whole new meaning to skating on thin ice, doesn't it?" I asked on a chuckle before biting my lip when Tommy glared down at me pointedly.

"If God had intended for people to walk on frozen water, don't you think he would have made us adaptable to that sort of thing?" Tommy asked as he grabbed onto my shoulder—hard—as his feet shook from underneath him. We spun as I tried to keep him upright.

"Isn't that what skates are for?" I asked on a laugh as Tommy narrowed his eyes. He wobbled again.

"No, that was some misguided inventor's idea of playing at overcoming nature." Tom commented mildly as I tried not to laugh again. I couldn't help it, I chuckled and we both had to grab for the walls as Tommy almost lost his footing yet again. Chris skated up to us soberly.

"I'm enjoying this new installment in the Quincy icecapades. Should we be looking for upcoming ticket sales?" Chris asked on a small smile as I shrugged to keep from laughing.

"Don't tease the man, Chris. He's suddenly very religious." I proclaimed with a straight face as Chris lost it—laughing so hard that he had to grab onto the wall too to keep from ending up on the ice. Tom just grumbled as Chris moved away again.

"If I didn't depend on you to get me off this ice, I'd tell you to go to hell, Harrison." Tommy stated simply as I smiled before skating away from the wall—bringing him with me as I did. He grabbed for my shoulder again as we moved until he finally seemed to become confidant enough I could let go. He speeded up as he went, and I followed him on a laugh until I saw him glance back at me in horror.

"You forgot to tell me how to stop." He cried out as I sped up to catch up to him before he hit the wall—grabbing him by the shoulders only to send us both into an immediate spin. I laughed as we tried to stay upright only to land indecorously right into the middle of the rink in a jumble of elbows, knees, and flying hair. Boy, what a mess. I didn't realize how close our faces were until I tried to get up only to crack foreheads with him. We both quit moving as our noses touched. It was like the world stood still. I didn't even care if I caught poison ivy from him although I was pretty sure I wasn't allergic to the stuff. I had fallen into a patch of it as a kid and hadn't broken out.

"I should move now." I remarked faintly as I started to move away only to have Tommy grab me by the hand. He removed the glove I was wearing so that our naked palms touched.

"I'm going on tour with you." Tommy uttered on a whisper as my eyes grew wide. He was what? Really? Sharing a tour bus with Tommy and the gang. What a wonderful yet awful idea. Could an idea be both of those things simultaneously? A tour of America with Tom—a collection of old hotel rooms and convenience stores—of corny tourist attractions and late evenings. It was…wow.

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**Author's Footnote: Hey guys! Here's the three chapters I wrote for this story this weekend. Hope you enjoy and more coming up today, I swear, or you can shoot daggers at me through the computer (laugh). Thank you so much for the reviews and I hope you love where I take this story. You guys are fantastic! I really miss you guys so much on the weekend! I really do. Lots of hugs to you all. And please R&R. Angel422.**


	22. Chapter 22

"You're going on tour with me?" I asked Tom quietly a little while later as we were removing our skates on the sidelines of the rink. He nodded slowly. I couldn't seem to find my voice as I gazed over at him.

"Why?" I asked softly as he met my gaze directly—staring a moment before looking back down at his feet.

"It's not something I have to do, Jude. Just say the word and I'm out." He replied firmly as I felt my heart literally stop. I grabbed his arm quickly without meaning to.

"No…I mean…well…I just wasn't expecting that, is all." I remarked fiercely as he looked over at me again with an amused smile. I was finding it really hard to concentrate on getting off my skates. A sound behind me made me look up in time to see Chris leaning down over my shoulder. He looked tired. Something told me that he wasn't happy I found spending time with Tommy more appealing than with him. It wasn't him, and it wasn't that I found Tommy more appealing. He had to know that. I just needed to figure out what I felt for Tom. I needed to put things into perspective. I knew Chris was leaving for California the following day right before we left on tour, and it saddened me only because Chris had become my new Jamie. He and Tom had seemed to reach some sort of plateau with each other too because they glanced at each other suddenly as if conveying a silent message while I finished removing my skates.

"I need to go pack." Chris remarked simply as I looked up into his darkened gaze warily. I could tell he was conflicted so I stood up as if to follow him. He only pushed me right back down again before shaking his head.

"No, you need to go get ready for your tour. Tom was telling me this morning that you guys were scheduled to leave on the spur of the moment as well—sometime late tomorrow afternoon? Something about Darius already being angry that you guys were behind schedule on it to begin with." Chris replied as I stared up at him mutely. Tom reached out his hand in order to shake Chris's firmly.

"Keep her out of trouble, would you?" Chris asked as I felt tears burn the back of my eyes. He seemed to notice the sudden emotional turmoil I was experiencing as he pulled me up into a quick, fierce hug. Did we have to say goodbye right now? He slipped a piece of paper into my palm as he let me go before turning to walk off. I didn't even glance back at Tom as I opened it—smiling as I saw the words scrolled across the parchment.

_"I haven't lost hope. Call me for anything. I'll come running in a heart beat." _It read, and I shrugged to myself as I perused it.

"He's a good guy." Tom said suddenly from behind me as I just nodded mutely.

"And he's got the right idea. We both need to go pack." I stated simply before walking toward the entrance of the rink. I needed to use this night to evaluate everything that had just happened today. I was leaving for tour tomorrow. That sounded daunting, But I was actually already packed. Darius had had the tour planned and the bus outfitted for months, but scheduling problems kept moving it back. Now, he finally had everything the way it was supposed to be. He hoped. The daunting thing was knowing that Tommy was coming along now. I wasn't sure how I felt about that—wasn't sure if I was even still angry at him. I had told him I wasn't angry anymore, but I wondered vaguely if that was my head talking and not my heart. I guess I was about to find out.

To be continued...

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**Author's Footnote: Okay guys, don't be scared when I tell you that this is the end of this fic because it is only because I've designed this story to be a lot like Note to Self and Note to Self: Realizations. Note to self was a twelve chapter lead up into Note to Self: Realizations which took you into a European tour with Jude. He Loves me, He Loves me Not was a twenty-two chapter story that brought Tommy back from Montana to find a conflicted and somewhat angry Jude trying to forget about him by dating someone else. It worked nicely to introduce how Jude and Tommy now feel about each other--about their reservations when it comes to becoming a team again and maybe whatever else they might be. Jude's still angry and she's hurt. The Fic that will show up as the continual of this story is called "When a Man Loves A Woman" and it's about the American Tour and the problems and humor that arises from it. Hopefully, it'll even beat the measley 46 chapters I wrote for Note to Self: Realizations (laugh out loud). And don't worry, I fully intend for Chris (I love his character) to make several Cameo appearances especially when they hit California. Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing. I'm saving my personal thanks for the end of 'When a Man Loves a Woman" only because I'm determind for you guys to follow me to that story (smile). See you there. Hugs. **


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